Copyright@shravancharitymission
By Kamlesh Tripathi
By Kamlesh Tripathi
When I was young,
my maternal Granny often used to sound me as an endearing edict, that when I
die, take my mortal remains to the banks of river Ganga for cremation, considered, the ultimate holy grail to the splendorous
gateway of heaven, in Hindus. But I was not sure, if she ever realised, whether
a ten year old kid understood, what she meant. Surely, I had no idea, of what a
‘cremation on the banks of river Ganga’
meant, until one day, I actually saw a dead body being cremated, while I was crossing
river Ganga, at Kanpur in a train. And,
it shook me as a teen.
My Mom, was her
only issue, and she understood her mother’s, writhing trauma, for ages, encased
in her subconscious, quite orderly. And she often hovered around, sensing,
Granny might repeat her will, for Ganga,
at the pangs of beyond-life, insecurities.
And, then sneaked the meandering rigmarole of
my life, in the face of school, college and a job, and then raising a family. But
all of this didn’t deter her from placing her request, whenever she had an
opportunity.
And, as life flew, I
lost my Mom, and with that Granny’s infrequent requests, became more like, frequent
holy warnings—she, be taken to the banks of river Ganga.
But, in the drift of
life, for quite some time, I was posted away from hometown and during this
period whenever I spoke to her I did assure her a cremation on the banks of holy
river Ganga.
But when the destined moment came, unannounced,
I could not reach on time, and she was cremated on the banks of river Gomti in Lucknow, about eighty km before
the banks of river Ganga.
That gave me a
remorse lifelong feel, as if, between Gomti
and Ganga, she had lost the battle
because of me.
And, since then, years
have passed, but she hasn’t complained to me. My guilt says she couldn’t reach
heaven. My heart says she smiles at me from heaven.
And, today, I am
returning from the banks of river Ganga.
Where I came here to ride over my guilt, and to request Holy Ganga, if not already, take her to
heaven now. And, to offer my lifetime apologies to her, from the serene surroundings
of holy river Ganga. But I guess I came quite late, and more towards
when, even I have started thinking of the holy river Ganga.
There are a few things
that are non-negotiable in life: one is death.
***
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